Hello everyone! Welcome to yet another TV Tuesday! This week I’m going to be talking all about season three of The Umbrella Academy.

Well, not only do we start right where we left off, but we start with a dance battle?! This show is the best. Apparently, this is only in Diego’s mind… but it was still cool.

So we find out that because of what happened in Dallas in the 1960s, their father decided they were a failure and wanted to start over again. So, in 1989 he adopted a new group of babies all born on the same day to women who randomly became pregnant and delivered babies… the Sparrow Academy.

Now, the Umbrella Academy want to fight for their title back… but it could be easier said than done. They won the first battle, but they haven’t won the war yet.

Five also realizes that they could possibly have alternate selves in this timeline and that they should not get too close to them… although I’d personally like to see this happen.

We also learn that Diego has a twelve-year-old son… what?! I have many questions… and so begins a new season!

We are now in the grandfather paradox?! Woah, talk about complex. So the fact that their old selves are in this new timeline, there are quite a few changes, for one Alison is no longer a mother and she’s trying to deal with that, meanwhile Diego is a dad, Vanya realizes who her true self is (more on that in a second), Klaus wants to find his birth mother, I’m not really sure what is up with Luther and Five just wants to sit back and retire.

This Sparrow Academy is so sterile and clean and crisp and I don’t love them yet… I love my dysfunctional Umbrella Academy.

Vanya realizes that their true self is to become Viktor and when he asks if anyone has a problem with that and they all just accept him, aww it’s so heartbreakingly sweet how they just love him. It’s so good to see him embracing himself for the first time.

So there is this fireball, spirit thing in the basement of the Sparrow Academy and I’m not sure what it’s purpose is just yet. So far it’s… I’m assuming, killed Marcus, the Sparrow’s number one.

Obviously the Sparrows noticed he’s missing so they kidnap Luther in order to get Marcus back… only the Umbrella Academy don’t notice that Luther is gone, poor Luther. He’s getting close with one of those Sparrows… I hope it doesn’t end badly for him, he’s been so unlucky in love.

Viktor thinks he’s figured a way to get back to their timeline, Marcus was supposed to help them out… but now with him gone and their grandfather paradox… things are going to get a little more complicated.  

Viktor wants the briefcase that they left at the Sparrow Academy because once they have it, they can use it to bring them back to their original timeline. But guess who has the briefcase? Lila of all people, she steals it and now she enlists Five’s help to fix it because apparently it’s broken, and it could lead to the end of the world?! So the two of them use their combined power to jump start it and they end up somewhere cold.

So Viktor and Allison fake it as if they have Marcus because they want the briefcase… in which they don’t know Lila and Five have… and when the two families agree to meet up, all hell breaks loose because the really weird guy who listens to sounds (who IS this guy?!?!) comes in and just blasts things out.

Meanwhile, Klaus is super obsessed with his birth mother. So from what I’m understanding, in this timeline, all their mother’s died the day they were born… before they were born because their father didn’t like them in the ‘60s. Klaus goes to find their father and finds him… and he’s a completely different man… the Sparrows have him in this trance and under their control with pills. It’s so strange to see.

He also finds the spirit thing in the basement, which is being called God and it’s starting to erase people and animals… but it’s also fueled by the paradox that they’ve created, I’m so curious about this thing!

OMG my brain is exploding!! So 1) we learn that the old man who saved the Umbrella Academy, and killed two Sparrows, is Harlem, but all grown up, damn! Then, 2) we learn that when he discovers that they’ve looking at their mothers, we find out that he killed them in this timeline. Because the day that his mother died, was the day they were supposed to be born, and he thought he felt Vanya/Viktor, but it was really their mothers and so he just exploded and in the process killed them all. Strange, but things are starting to make some sense.

But then we have Five and Lila trying to find the Founder… only to find out that he’s he Founder. He’s super old and when Five wants answers, he ends up dying so that’s helpful. We find out that the God thing in the basement is a Kugelblitz and they need to stop it in order to get everyone back in their own timeline.

Now, they, meaning the Umbrellas minus Viktor, want to hand Harlem over to the Sparrows. Sacrificing Harlem could mean that the Kugelblitz will be destroyed, but Viktor can’t do it… so the end of the world is still on.

Then, what the F! Diego’s new found son shoots Klaus! I mean, it was an accident, but still, is Klaus going to be ok?!

Wait, so was Klaus’ superpower always coming back from the dead? Because we get flashbacks of him doing so many times and then poof he comes alive again. But not before he meets his mother while he’s dead and Diego is about to help his son clean up the body.

I get that Alison is hurting but that is SO not fair of her to use Luther the way that she does. I mean, I don’t condone him being with Sloan, but at least he chose that, he didn’t chose to be with Alison. Then when he can’t stop, well that’s on her.

That’s so gross that Five keeps a patch of skin that he cut off his future self with a tattoo on it. This leads him to a biker gang/club… where Pogo is a tattoo artist. I was wondering how Pogo fit into this season. It’s Pogo who warns Five about the drugged Reginald and how off his meds he’s dangerous… and Klaus has started to sober him up… yikes!

The Sparrows offer Luther a position as one of them, a replacement number one, and he takes it… wow Luther. He doesn’t feel like he belongs with his family anymore so he joins a new family?

Viktor takes Harlem and tries to gain his powers; it takes time but he does it. Viktor trusts Allison to help them out… but when she sees what’s happening to him and when she learns about how Harlem is the reason their mothers are dead and the Claire doesn’t exist and oh you know also the end of the world; she hands Harlem over to the Sparrows like they wanted in the first place… against Viktor’s wishes. No, Allison kills Harlem, even worse. Gosh, again I get Allison is angry, but the row she has with Viktor, wow, it was intense.

Oh and just for fun, Lila lied about Stan being their kid; the anger Diego felt, woooof. I don’t blame him though, it was sprung on him, and then all the shit the kid pulled, but damn! Excuse me?!? She brought Stan to Diego because she was too afraid to tell him she was pregnant!!? Geez!

So while Klaus has been kidnapped by their father and learning to control death and ghosts… for some reason that isn’t apparent yet, the rest of the families have come together to trap the Kugelblitz inside the Sparrows number 7, Christopher.

I knew it was too good to be true!! One of the Sparrows touches Christopher (who is a floating box I might add) and he combusts and the end of the world is back on.

So out of the Sparrows only Ben and Sloan are left.

Well, I didn’t see that coming, Luther proposed to Sloan.

They decide that they’re not going to try and save the world because every time they try it messes something else up, so this time they’re going to let the end of the world happen.

So to celebrate, Luther and Sloan get married. It was actually a really cute wedding, even if it was put together in a haste. Klaus comes back with their father where their father crashes the wedding and says really nice things about them… wanting their forgiveness? I have a feeling this is leading to bigger things because Five isn’t feeling well, acting like you do when you come close to another version of yourself. Their father is talking to someone and I’m pretty sure it’s some form of Five because their father is not about giving up, he wants to stop the end of the world.

Ok, I was wrong, it wasn’t a form of Five, it was Allison he was making a deal with.

We spend most of the second to last episode going through each of the characters having these existential crises about whether they should join their father in battle to stop the end of the world. Then when it’s outweighed to stay behind, things get even more shady.

I was wondering how sincere their father was being towards them, then he murders Luther and makes it seem like “the guardian” did it and leaves Klaus to be killed by destruction… although Klaus can’t die, so is Klaus really dead? All this, so that their father looks like the good guy and they should join him in his quest. He was such a sneaky bastard this whole time, the guy never changed… just changed his tactics.

So this season ends on a battle, which we knew was coming. After their father basically traps them in the hotel oblivion he makes it like he’s on their side and wants their help. It’s real quick that they all start question his motives and realize that he’s actually doing this for his own gain. He wants to use all his “children” so that he can go back to a different reality.

But first they must fight these armoured suits and once they’ve done that they have to figure out how to get the key to unlocking this dimension that will take them back.

See, Klaus was able to come back from the dead to help them defeat these suits, I knew he wasn’t going to stay dead.

I can see why Allison was so into making a deal with their father now, she was so desperate to get her daughter or her husband back that he probably fed her lies to tell her what she wanted to hear.

Because once they figure out the key… is literally them… all of them BUT Allison. It’s up to Allison to save them. In the end she kills their father and presses a button – they don’t want to her to, but she does anyway.

It takes them back to a reality where for her she has both her daughter and her husband back. Everyone is alive and while, Luther is alive… but Sloan is missing… and they don’t have their powers any longer. Klaus was really upset to be mortal again. Now they can just live a normal life.

I was going to say that if there isn’t another season I can live with how this one ended… but then they pull last scenes where their father isn’t actually dead and they’re heading somewhere else so now what is next for these guys?! Especially since they don’t have their powers.

This season wasn’t as good as last seasons but it was still enjoyable.