So season three opens on Archie’s trial. He is pretty much being framed for killing Cassidy by Mr. Lodge. Everyone knows he’s innocent, but the jury keep coming to a tied judgement. This is not helping his case at all. They are on recess over the weekend, where Archie and the gang get to hangout one last time.

Back at it, the jury rule the same and so there is a smaller sentence that the other lawyer rules and Archie jumps on it. It still means that he has to face jail time.

Veronica is pissed and she knows it’s her father behind all of this, she just can’t figure out why he wants to ruin Archie, because he went against him… nope so it turns out that Hiram is doing this to punish Veronica for choosing Archie over blood. Damn! I love when Veronica goes, ‘you no longer have a daughter’ Boom!

I love how the Riverdale dads are getting together to set Archie free.

We also have to unpack Betty because what is going on with her? She’s pretending to see a therapist so she can get a prescription for Adderall. I don’t blame her in a sense because of everything she went through with her father.

Her mother and sister know someone from “the farm” (the place Polly went to) and they have someone who is helping them heal, by using all these natural paths, but Betty isn’t buying any of it.

And okay, what was that weird baptism with the fire and the babies? Talk about weird and kinda creepy; then Betty falls and has a seizure.

Then there’s Jughead… he’s having some issues with the North and South side intermingling. They have a guy named Hotdog… yeah, who is naming these characters? Go missing and Peabody knew he’d come running when one of their own went missing. Everything is so ominous, I haven’t a clue where any of it is going.

So Archie is in jail… oh boy where do I start? So there are Serpents and there are Goolies in jail, and when Archie doesn’t agree to shank a Goolie, the Serpents don’t want to give him protection. I don’t understand why the Goolies are so into his shoes.

So Archie’s big plan to get both enemies together… football. When he tells Veronica, she realizes she knows how she can help him… by bringing the cheer squad to perform and cheer for them. That had to be the most cringe thing ever. Like ugh. Anyways, all it gives them is Hiram showing up, saying she can’t see Archie anymore (pretty much banning her) and sending the guards on all the boys to beat them with batons. Seems a bit extreme, but ok.

Now Veronica is pretending to be some Monica? To see Archie. Archie finds out he’s been tagged… so does that mean he’s like the warden’s lap dog?

Kevin is trying to get closer to Moose by joining this weird army… I wonder how good of an idea is that.

Okay so all the parents of Riverdale apparently went to high school together, and they made a pact way back in the day about some weird thing they saw in the woods, that is now killing kids… again? Why is everything have to be a giant mystery?

Like this whole thing with Dalton, Ben and Ethel in the woods playing a game is so strange. I don’t really like this storytelling because it feels like nothing is adding up… and adding the parents into it, like why? For added layer and depth? This show doesn’t really need that.

So apparently being ‘tagged’ means that he’s put into these boxing/wrestling fights and the better he is, the more the warden likes him. At first he thinks he can knock it off in one round, but the warden is not happy about that so Archie is now pretending to make things last longer… what a plot.

Veronica is opening her speakeasy, but things get a little complicated when Jingle Jangle end up being shipped there and her father’s police sheriff show up minutes later. Veronica knows it’s her father’s doing, he’s totally up to something, I’m thinking besides taking her down.

Then there’s Betty and Jughead who are trying to investigate this game G&G Gryphons and Gargoyles. What we do find out is that Alice has told the farm alllll of her past mistakes/sins including playing this weird game that is killing people. Betty wants to join the farm so she can get more info, but they see through her plan, yikes. Then there’s Jughead who wants the scripture so he can find out more, but in order to do that he has to play the game. He does get it, but FP puts a stop to it and he burns the copy… but somehow the one copy is multiplied and given to Riverdale high. Oh boy.

So Betty finds out some information that leads her to showing her mother… which takes us down a rabbit hole to the past. So we have a Breakfast Club episode, although they call each other “The Midnight Club”, how original. I find it interesting that each actor plays their parent in the past; I don’t quite hate it, but I don’t quite love it either, it’s an interesting take on it.

So 6 of them end up in detention, Fred, F.P, Alice, Hermione, Penelope, and Sierra. At first they are complete strangers, but over the weeks of detention they become close and that’s when they find the game, and start to play it. They get so much enjoyment from it that they take it out of the game and into real life. Of course it’s Hiram who brings the chalice with the drugs in it, and things get crazy… so crazy that their principle goes to bust them, but drinks from the chalice instead… which leaves him dead. That’s when everyone gets suspicious of each other because clearly one of them made it for someone in the Midnight Club. This death broke the club up and they all went their separate ways.

Interesting plot, it gives us more of a backstory on the parents, but it’s not a really meaningful one. Plus, plot hole? I thought Hiram wasn’t originally from Riverdale? Or am I mistaking that?

Uh, ok, so Jughead is now playing the game and he’s totally lost it. Damn. Okay, he’s not as crazy as I thought… they made him sound so crazy. He’s apparently taken on being the Gargoyle King.

So Betty thinks that someone from the Midnight Club is the Gargoyle King, now years later that same person is back playing that role… this is like the whole Black Hood thing all over again. Now we have to figure out what adult is the king.

So Archie tries to escape, but that doesn’t happen because he’s caught. When Veronica finds out what they’re making him do, she plans his escape. Damn, what an elaborate escape it is. I think every character is involved. I have to say I kinda like how half the team went out to actually help Archie escape and the other plays G&G. I also like how Jughead narrated everything, but by playing the game. Somehow it wasn’t the worst thing ever… in fact in made things more intense.

In the end they pull it off somehow, but Archie has no idea what G&G is… or where he is because he doesn’t know this secret bunker exists.

We also learn that the Warden knows about G&G and he accidentally let’s slip words only people who play G&G would know… and so Betty now knows. Is this why he kills himself?

Right after that, that’s when Jughead sees the Gargoyle King. Hmm.

So Betty gets all the parents together to find out more about what they know about this game. So it turns out that Penelope tells everyone that it was Dalton’s dead father, Daryl who helped her be the game leader, but she thought the chalices were empty. Apparently years later he killed himself because he couldn’t live with the guilt. First off, it makes sense how Dalton knew and played the game, but it doesn’t explain who is parading as the King now.

Wow, so the Gargoyle King ends up in Betty’s house. After all that, her mother sends her to live with the farm to keep her safe… and when she arrives they’re all painting weird images of the Gargoyle King. Oh boy.

Obviously Archie couldn’t just sit in the bunker, that would be too much, so he makes Kevin take him out so he can see where the other Serpents who are playing the game are. He doesn’t want any more blood on his hands… too late. Hiram just knows where Archie is heading, and sends the sheriff to kill the Serpent boys.

So is Archie just going to run away? After all that, he’s just going to run into the sunset? I get where Archie is coming from, as long as Hiram is alive he’s going to be hunting him.

So Jughead heads out with him and the two decide they’re going to stop at this farm… I figured it was part of the farm that Betty was sent to, but it’s actually connected to Hiram. Of course Archie is getting all buddy buddy with the girl… who in the end hits him with a frying pan, ha! I laughed at that because Archie bugs me so much. By the time Hiram gets there though, Archie and Jughead have run away.

After that we are taken to Betty and her good times at the farm. Her new roommate is Ethel of all people. Ha! Ethel thinks that Jughead is into her, interesting. So this whole farm thing is so twisted with the game, I don’t understand. Are we even supposed to understand?

So now Betty gets to meet the King? Because she’s been so uncooperative she meets him? Oh lord once she’s seen him, she’s become one of the worshipers.

Weird, the Blossoms and Hiram are meeting at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy … I think it must have something to do with the candy they’re feeding the sisters. Betty thinks Hiram is doing experiments on the girls with the candy… then again anything is possible.

Ok, so let me get this straight… Hiram admits to being the Gargoyle King. So Betty finds out that Hiram is creating a new drug, Rocks and he’s testing it on the sisters, and he’s using the Blossom’s to ship it in from his “prison”.

She recruits Ethel by letting her come down from the drugs so that she can see clearly… in which we find out the ‘Gargoyle King’ is just a statue. The one they saw out in public was someone dressed up as the King… Hiram?

They then question the head sister, where they learn that it was the sisters who created the game to submit people into submission. Apparently Hiram is a large donor to that weird backward place.

Now Betty and Ethel have to get the rest of the girls out, but they’re too devoted to the King… so what does Betty do… dresses up as the Gryphon Queen.

So Archie and Jughead run away to Jughead’s mum, only to run into Peabody… who of course is working for Hiram. We also learn that Hiram ran Archie out of town so that Archie wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Now Hiram can do whatever it is he wants to do.

Jughead’s mum calls Fred and F.P. to pick up the boys… Jughead back to Riverdale, and Archie to who knows where… why did Fred give him the dog?

Uhm so Riverdale is under quarantined… so Hiram can do what he pleases?

So Veronica needs protection from her own father and for 10% of her cut she hopes her father’s men will stay away. Well that doesn’t happen. Instead, the people around her keep getting attacked. So she buddy’s up with Jughead to form a deal with the Serpents.

Veronica finds out that Toni and Cheryl have been stealing from the rich, and they’ve stolen Veronica’s mother’s gold egg. The deal: if Jughead can get it back, then the Serpents will act as Veronica’s body guards for her club. Jughead does what he sets out and cuts Toni and Cheryl from being Serpents because of it, kinda harsh but we’ll see how long that last. He has to cut out Fangs for selling drugs that inevitably Betty’s kids get into because everything has to be connected on this show.

Speaking of, Betty has taken in all the kids from the sisterhood to stay at her house, but you can only live like that for so long. Her mother definitely wants them gone, and she really wants them to stay on the farm, but that’s Betty’s last hope. She ends up rallying some of the town folk to take them in, but before she can get that in motion, her mother sends them to the farm.

The Sisters from the sisterhood are in prison and are set to testify against Hiram… but guess who pays their bail… totally Hiram. Of course Betty knows where they would go, back to their church where she finds them all dead to join the Gargoyle King.

Geez. So Archie is out in the woods on the run, but when he gets attacked by a Grizzly bear he has this fever dream where he plays the game and realizes that he needs to kill Hiram, the Gargoyle King.

Ha! We’re led to believe that Archie is ‘dead or ‘dying’. I don’t believe that for one second. The show wouldn’t really go on if he died.

I have no idea where this show is going, and as I keep saying, I don’t know why I’m still watching.

So is there a thing going on between Veronica and Reggie? He seems to be willing to risk a lot of things for her; oh yes, they kiss, there is definitely a thing.

Told you he wasn’t going to die. Archie, ends up back in Riverdale because he’s tired of being scared of Hiram. So are Veronica and Archie going to be back to dating?

GAH THIS SHOW! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO CONNECTED?!?

So Betty has to go see her father when her mother moves all her college money to another account to benefit the farm, what is with this farm? The only way that her mother can legally do that is if both her parents signed off on it. She knows it’s a forgery so she must see her father, but of course he has to play games with her. He tells her all this stuff about the gargoyle king and that night when their parents were young. He tells her that he was there because he was the gargoyle king. UGH. Betty then finds out her mother has been seeing her father every week… only it’s not Alice, but Penelope Blossom. It’s Penelope that has been telling her father everything she knows. Her father only tells Betty to keep her in his life. What a sick twisted family. Like, why would you tell these things to your daughter? Ehhh, and she does it all for a signature.  But it worked because now she’s confiding in him.

Which is just like us, the viewer, we leave, only we come crawling back. Every. Single. Time.

Ugh, why is the writing so cheesy? “Serpents! Scatter!” was an actual line, ugh. Well from this we learn that Tall Boy is alive, and he’s posing as the Gargoyle King and working for Hiram.

Oh boy. Reggie just opened a can of worms. When Archie wants to talk about cheating, Reggie thinks it’s about Veronica, when really it’s about the SATs. Oof. I like Reggie and Veronica better than she and Archie.

Well, Archie just runs out of the SATs, and guess what happens right after, Hiram gets shot. Veronica is led to believe that it was Archie. It’s Reggie that goes to see Veronica in the hospital with flowers and a balloon. That was actually really, really cute!

One of the Serpents gets hurt so Jughead wants to throw a party? Ok.

Oh I am. Loving. This. FP is the new sheriff in town and I could not be happier. Hiram wanted it to be Claudius Blossom, but well that doesn’t work out as he dies and Hermione is not about it anyways. I’m so glad she chooses F.P!

I’ve never liked Archie as a character and when he gets so angry working on one of his father’s job sight, just ugh.

Hmm. So Betty’s father is putting these ideas in her head about how there is another killer in Riverdale. Well, Betty and Jughead are on the case! They learn about Penelope Blossom and her hatred towards men. Interesting. It was Penelope Blossom who killed Claudius.

What? FP actually did shoot Hiram? When Hermione asked for a favour, it was to shoot Hiram, oh my! All this time Jughead thought his father was being set up by Hermione. Now FP is putting the blame on Tall Boy, and Tall Boy is dead so that closes that.

What? What? What the fuck? So Archie goes to Hiram’s hospital room with a gun, with every intention of killing him, but I knew from the moment he walked in he wouldn’t be able to do it. No, instead a guy in a black mask is about to do the job Archie couldn’t and Archie shoots the masked man. He just defended Hiram, the man he hates, what?

Veronica, no the whole Lodge family just don’t communicate and they go behind each other’s backs thinking they know better. The whole Fizzle Rocks were giving girls seizures so Veronica and Reggie burn them all to get rid of them. Of course Hermione is furious because she had a buyer lined up to keep them clean.

Well guess who the buyer was… Jughead’s mom and she and Jellybean are up to something as she’s not leaving Riverdale.

I’m starting to believe that there isn’t an actual Gargoyle King, just someone dressing up as it to scare people. This time the king pops back up to scare what we at first think is all the adults who played it as a teen, but after careful consideration, it’s really the kids, Kevin and Moose to be exact.

Turns out this king was Moose’s father. Holy hell this backstory made me kinda mad. So Moose has been afraid to come out to his father because he’s strict and doesn’t believe in gay people, but lo and behold we find out that his father had “impure” thoughts about Tom, Kevin’s dad and so he was brainwashed by the sisters to get rid of the thoughts. Again, everything has to have a perfect story tie in.

Well now Moose is leaving because his father has been locked up and I think he just wants to get out of town. Poor Kevin.

So, Veronica went behind her father’s back first, by burning all his drug supply and trying to pay off Jughead’s mom, since that’s her dope… but now she’s spying on her father for Jughead’s mom… my gosh. Well guess who found out (at least part of the truth) and is hella pissed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Hiram kills Hermione, he’s got no love for her… Veronica on the other hand he actually cares for.

Then we have Betty and her mom and the farm. My god, her mom gets baptized and it’s Polly, her own daughter who holds her under until she can’t breathe, it’s Betty who saves her, but I doubt her mother sees it that way. And what’s this about Kevin starting to drink the farm Kool-Aid?

Well, her mother tells Betty the reason she loves the farm is that she can see Charles, her dead son. But she is ready to move out of her house.

Now that Jughead made Toni and Cheryl leave the Serpents they start their own girl club the Pretty Poisons… but Cheryl has plans to make them stand on their own, but Toni isn’t having any of it. You can see the rift starting to form between these two. I’m sad, but at the same time Cheryl can be too much to handle.

Speaking of the Serpents, Jughead can’t seem to get a hold of them, and his mother needs to step in, but so does his father, having the town sheriff on their side is a really big power trip move.

Jughead’s mom’s name is Gladys? That doesn’t sound as badass as she is. Anyways, she goes behind her family’s back to buy the Cooper house from Alice and Betty. This is quite the plot… so weird, I know that Gladys has some ulterior motives, and Jughead is so suspicious about it; I don’t blame him. You know she’s getting this money from the Lodges…

Ah, the Lodges, so now Veronica owes not only Gladys but now her father. So, in order to try and get out of the massive debt she’s in she opens up a casino… then denies access to her father or Gladys. Damn.

FP is 50?!? Damn, like it makes sense, but damn. Seeing Fred and FP hug it out, damn that was so sad knowing the actor, Luke Perry’s recent death. Jughead always has these speeches, I love how good with words he is.

Just when we think the Fizzle Rocks are gone, they’re back. Everyone is questioning who it is, Veronica tells Betty it’s Gladys, but I can’t tell if it’s the truth or not. Damn, so it is true. Betty tells Jughead, and of course Jughead has to find out the truth.

I feel bad for Reggie, all he wants is to matter, and to be a part of Veronica’s life fully, but she keeps him on the outside. I don’t think she wants to let anyone in after Archie.

I hate musical episodes. They look so staged and the dancing is SO bad, and I doubt any of them are actually singing.

The whole point of the musical is because once Toni and Cheryl break up Cheryl is all about creating a Heathers musical.

Wow, I’m surprised that Hiram and Hermione are getting divorced. This devastates Veronica because the whole time it’s been all about family and staying together; she’s even chosen her father over Archie, so this really upsets her. I wonder the dynamics now. Hiram knows that his wife tried to kill him twice, so I wouldn’t be surprised by anything now.

I haven’t really touched on Archie much, but he’s very wrapped up in fighting and dating Josie, which is kinda cute.

Jughead is so obsessed with their old trailer that went missing. When he finds out his mother is using it for her drugs, Jug and Betty go and burn it down. Oh hot damn.

WHAT?! After their musical performance the entire audience has been brainwashed by the farm. Holy crap. I already knew that Chad Michael Murray was entering the show as Edgar the farm leader, but damn what an entrance. He just stands and starts clapping which leads everyone else to start this rhythmic clapping, truly creepy.

Watching Jughead try to bust the drugs his mother is behind, alongside his father who is dead set on busting the drugs. This family dynamic is so messed up, but it’s so fun to watch. I love seeing FP as the sheriff.

Betty recruits Cheryl to help her find out more about the farm. When she thinks only Evelyn is going to interview Cheryl, instead it’s her father Edgar. I think Cheryl is starting to be brainwashed by the farm as after two sessions she no longer wants to help Betty. Cheryl says she sees Jason at the farm, I still think she being brainwashed or something… just like Betty’s mom.

Now Betty has no other option, she wants to meet Edgar herself. Betty’s starting to come around to the farm. Now that she’s spoke with Edgar about what they do, she realizes that they are trying to help her mother heal. So after pretty much kidnapping her mother, she lets her go back to the farm.

Oh no. The drugs are really messing with everyone as there’s a bad batch going around, but it’s all connected to the Gargoyle King… still. Now Jellybean has somehow found her way into playing the game and getting sucked in. Dear lord, seeing FP so protective.

Now the Jones have to play the game to save Jellybean. One by one as each quest goes on, they lose a member, first FP, then Gladys and it’s up to Jughead to find his sister… which he does. I’m super surprised that Gladys tells FP about her drug dealings. I didn’t think she was going to actually spell her secrets. FP is furious… and I don’t blame him at all.

This whole plot with Archie is just so weird… well it’s clearly not the weirdest but still, he’s being framed for murdering this boxer even though Archie really didn’t do it

Ah, just when Betty thought she had Toni on her side, Toni is actually part of the farm. We learn that Evelyn has been pretending to be a junior at different schools for over a decade, and that she’s not Edgar’s daughter, but his wife. Now they are so deadest on making her join the farm because everyone in her life already has. This has truly been the weirdest plot. Oh, and not only her mother part of the farm, she engaged to Edgar… I think everyone is married to him… it’s so weird.

Ah yes, Hiram is opening his own private prison, but he’s also funding Archie’s gym… and blackmailing him at the same time… what-the-fuck? Oh but then Betty’s father was supposed to be transferred to his prison… and he died on the way… my god this show.

At first it’s hard to tell if Betty is happy or sad her father is dead; although she does worry he’s becoming the black hood again. We do get confirmation… but anything can happen in Riverdale.

How did I not know that Molly Ringwald played Archie’s mom?!?! Well, his mother is back and isn’t too into his boxing.

So their prom is medieval theme… with 80s music, why am I even surprised? So guess who shows up to prom… the Gargoyle King. Just as Betty’s about to shoot him, the black hood shows up, uhm what? Why? To kill her? So now Betty has to warn her mother, and her only safe place is the farm, so it looks like she’s staying there.

Oh damn, so Veronica doesn’t own the diner or her club like she thought… her father does, naturally.

Archie and his boxing, challenges Hiram to a match… if Hiram wins he gets to own Riverdale, if Archie wins Hiram leaves it alone… if one of them doesn’t die first. I gotta say that fight scene was gruesome and ugly

But the match was all a ruse to get Hiram busy while Veronica got the feds involved and hopefully locked up for good.

Obviously Betty is going to go hunting for information; she finds out that Edgar has been hypnotizing everyone into thinking they have pain that needs to be removed. She also finds out that Evelyn is very sick… like organ transplant sick… and Betty thinks that Edgar is making people believe they’re hurt so they can heal Evelyn… literally with their organs.

Oh shit, the farm is an organ harvesting farm… ew. I’m glad Cheryl believes Betty because Kevin is too far gone.

Jughead finally finds out who the Gargoyle king is after his brave quest… Jason Blossom?!?

WHAT KIND OF SEASON FINALE WAS THAT?!?

So Archie, Jughead, Betty and Veronica must play the game one last time, but before they do we learn a few things. We learn that Penelope Blossom has been behind the whole Gargoyle King and the game Gryphons and Gargoyles. Penelope introduced the game to her classmates all those years ago, and decided to bring it back for her “friend’s” kids to get rid of all the bad people in Riverdale.

We learn that the Black Hood is in fact Hal, Betty’s father; he did survive that bus crash and because Penelope was having an affair with him, and they have the same views about Riverdale it was easy to convince him. As for the Gargoyle king, well the current one was Chip… Hal (or the Black Hood) never killed him, but he turned him into his pet pretty much. Penelope dressed him up and started calling him Jason.

As for the game, it looks like they all survive after each of their challenges, but we do get this flash forward, did they kill Jughead?!

Penelope wants the rest of her peers to feel how she felt when she lost her child, great.

I don’t know about the Farm. I honestly think they are going to pick up and leave as Toni told Penelope what she knows, Penelope rescued Betty for her game, but the rest of the them… are they going to kill them?

Now I’m forced to watch the next season because I have so many questions!?! Damn you Riverdale!